MLB x Star Wars Logos, Ranked
Way back in the summer of 2014, graphic designer @ak47_studios made Star Wars-based logos for every MLB team, and they’re all incredible. Seeing as though it’s “Star Wars Day”, and we have no other baseball to talk about at the moment, we figured it was the perfect time to go back and rank them from worst to best.
This is in no way a knock on the actual designs (which, see above, are incredible), but rather the teams mixed with their respective Star Wars character.
#30 Mesa Jar Jar Indians
Much like the actual Cleveland Indians, Jar Jar Binks is one of those polarizing characters that people either love or couldn’t care less about. Also like the Indians, Jar Jar only makes appearances in the newer movies (last 4 seasons), and was completely unheard of in the first set of movies (any season prior).
#29 The Watto Cardinals
First of all, no Jedi mind tricks work on this guy, and secondly, those concourses in St. Louis have a very “Tatooine Junk Market” feel to them when they’re crowded with 40,000 Cards fans. Plus, something about seeing Watto in all red holding a baseball bat with his feet give us the heebie-jeebies.
#28 Tampa Bay Dooku Rays
Count Dooku, another one of those “take him or leave him” Star Wars characters. Not evil or strong enough to matter all that much, and aside from losing
the 2008 World Series to Anakin Skywalker before his final transformation into Darth Vader, Dooku isn’t known for much.
#27 Detroit Jabba the Hutts
I have the same feelings when I look at Jabba the Hutt as I do when I think about the Detroit Tigers, and neither of them are good. There’s a good joke about Joba Chamberlain’s Detroit career in here somewhere too, but I’d rather just move on to the next than think about more about any of those things.
#26 The Arizona Diamond-Sarlaccs
Much like the Arizona Diamondbacks, it took me a second to remember what the Sarlacc was. According to the original post, “you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a thousand years”, which I’d imagine is about the same as being a fan of the Arizona Diamondbacks.
#25 Milwaukee Qui-Gon Jinns
This is a match made in heaven. Aesthetically, the Brewers have an awesome logo and color scheme, and Qui-Gon Jinn is played by eternal-badass Liam Neeson. Also like Qui-Gon Jinn, everyone wants the Brewers to succeed, and every season they’re killed by Darth Maul before ever making anything happen. Christian Yelich might be Qui-Gon’s next Anakin Skywalker, let’s just hope he doesn’t go to the dark side like the last guy…
#24 Houston Grand Moff Tarkin Astros
A reminder that these logos were made in 2014, before the ‘stros rebrand (or journey to the dark side…). Like the Astros’ lineup, Grand Moff Tarkin is in control of a world-crushing amount of power. Also like the Astros’ lineup, it takes some
buzzers well-done CGI to make him appear real in the later movies.
#23 Minnesota Jawa Twins
Look at these little guys. Sure they have weapons (like 5 30+ home run hitters in 2019), and there’s something to be said about those shifty little eyes (like their first 100-win season since 1965), but is anyone ever that scared of these guys? The Twins even have their own scrapped robot in Nelson Cruz, who they’re probably getting more value for than the Jawas ever did for C3PO and R2-D2.
#22 The South Side Stormtrooper Sox
Despite their prevalence in nearly every movie, Stormtroopers can’t ever seem to get respect in their own kingdom, always playing second fiddle to their Sith Lord. Sure they’re horribly inaccurate with their lasers (0 playoff appearances since 2009), but you’d think their attachment to such a powerful force (the city of Chicago) would help their cause. Guess not…
#21 The San Diego Sand People
Way out in the outer parts of the country sits the San Diego Padres. Never really bothering anyone, never really making much noise, just like the Sand People of Tatooine. Every now and again, they’ll kidnap someone (Manny Machado, Eric Hosmer), and ol’ Ben Kenobi will have to kill a few, but you can usually go about your day without having to worry about Sand People messing you up too much.
#20 Cincinnati Darth Maul Reds
Darth Maul’s lightsaber might be one of the coolest weapons in the entire galaxy. Eugenio Suarez might be one of the best power hitters in the entire galaxy. The only problem is… Darth Maul gets cut in half in the first movie and the Reds haven’t been over .500 since 2013, so what does it really matter.
#19 The Los Angeles Amidala Angels
Padme Amidala is the 14-year-old queen of the very advanced Naboo. She is prim and proper, just like her Los Angeles counterparts. Padme had to watch her lover, Anakin Skywalker turn to the dark side, just like the Angels have seen their neighboring Dodgers do the same. Just like Padme with Luke and Leia, the Angels have given birth to two people who could very well change the galaxy of baseball in Mike Trout and Shohei Ohtani. There probably won’t be a weird brother-sister kiss between those two though…
#18 Miami Admiral Ackbars
If only someone could’ve yelled “it’s a trap” when the Marlins were bought by Derek Jeter…
#17 General Grievous Phillies
General Grievous was a droid with 4 lightsaber-wielding arms. The Phillies have Bryce Harper, Jake Arrieta, Aaron Nola, and Rhys Hoskins. Pretty unstoppable, right? Wrong.
#16 Lando Calrissian and the Cloud City Mets
Lando is a clothes-stealing back stabber who sells his best friend Han out to the Republic. The Mets are a city-stealing franchise who sells out their Cy Young winning pitchers to one of the worst offenses in the league. But dang is Billy Dee Williams/Mr. Met cool.
#15 Toronto R2-D2s
R2-D2 is around for nearly everything, and never has his mind wiped. He knows the good and the evil, he has secrets that could save countless hours and countless lives, but he just sits up in Canada not telling anyone anything. It wasn’t until one solid Rougned Odor right hook that R2 even passed along Princess Leia’s dire message for goodness sake! Do better, Blue Jays.
#14 Chicago Ewoks
Aww, look at these cute little cubs living in the woods surrounded by their outfield fence vines. They couldn’t hurt a fly (108-year World Series drought)! Wait, what’s that? They took down some AT-ATs with just some rocks (won the 2016 World Series with David Ross)? Oh ok, yeah maybe don’t mess with these guys.
#13 Colorado Windu Rockies
There’s something about using purple as a main color that’s just cool. Whether it’s your lightsaber or your alternate jerseys, the Windu Rockies do it right. Unfortunately, just like the balls in that thin Denver air, Mace gets sucked into space and is never heard from again.
#12 The Washington Rancors
The Rancor is the beast in Jabba’s basement that Luke has to fight when he’s thrown down there. A huge, scary beast (coming off the 2019 World Series win) that’s impervious to blaster fire (4 pitchers with over 11 wins and under 3.85 ERAs), the Rancor is enough to terrify people at once glance. However, due to their short time of relevance, the Washington Rancors don’t quite crack the top 10.
#11 Pittsburgh C3PO Pirates
The Pirates have been around since 1882, and are fluent in over 6 million languages. Plus, just like the old tin-can Pirates hats of the 70s, C3PO pulls off that pirate bandanna better than I ever could’ve guessed. However, in the midst of a rebuild after a 69-93 season, the Pirates’ chances of their first World Series win since 1979 currently sit at 3,720… to 1.
#10 Princess Leia Royals
Kauffman Stadium is just about as beautiful as Alderaan itself. That is, until the Death Star (back-to-back 100-loss seasons) blows it up… Princess Leia has a soft spot for rebels like Eric Hosmer, Lorenzo Cain, and Mike Moustakas though, and while that rebellion might be over, something tells me another is not far behind.
#9 The LA Emperor Dodgers
We mentioned their move to the dark side earlier in this article, so the LA Emperor Dodgers seems to fit perfectly. One of the most powerful forces in the universe, you can find Dodgers gear in almost all parts of the galaxy. If only they used that power for good, instead of getting thrown into space in back-to-back World Series’.
#8 Solo Rangers
Like Han, the Rangers are a scrappy bunch that don’t take “no” for an answer. Unlike Han, the Rangers don’t come up in big moments (see their two World Series appearances…). Let’s hope that fancy new stadium can make the Kessel Run in under 12 parsects.
#7 San Francisco Wookie Giants
If anything, the Wookie Giants can be known as the all-hair team. Much like their furry namesake, guys like Tim Lincecum, Hunter Pence, Brian Wilson, Johnny Cueto, and Madison Bumgarner have been known to rock some pretty wild hairdos. Also like their furry namesake, they’re a formidable fighter (won 3 of the last 9 World Series) who is just more understood than anything.
#6 The Atlanta Boba Fett Braves
Just like the Mandalorian bringing guys like Boba Fett back into light, the Braves have seen a little resurgence of their own recently (back-to-back NL East Champions). While that hasn’t equated to any real postseason success, keep your head on a swivel when Boba Fett’s around, because you don’t want to be his next bounty.
#5 Degobah System Athletics
Everything about Yoda makes us think he was once an incredible Jedi who couldn’t be beat (3 straight World Series victories in the 1970s). When he does give us a glimpse into that side of him, he doesn’t disappoint (two 97-65 records in the past two seasons). Time catches up to everyone though, and with the second-oldest roster in the MLB, hopefully the Athletics are training the next Luke Skywalker before their time comes.
#4 Baltimore Obi-Wan Kenobis
A legend of the game. One of the historically best franchises in the MLB is embodied by one of the historically best Jedis in the galaxy. When they mess up though, they do it in a big way (223 losses in the past two seasons) (letting the most powerful Jedi ever go to the dark side). From the looks of the logo, this is the old Ben Kenobi, who sacrifices himself to Darth Vader in order to balance the force and ultimately make Luke stronger. If I was in the front office of the Orioles, I might be trying to find baseball’s equivalent right about now.
#3 Boston Skywalkers
The force is strong with this one indeed. One of the most powerful Jedi in the modern era of the force, the Red Sox have two of the last 7 and 4 of the last 14 World Series victories. Well-known as the “good guys”, the only ones that could really have beef with them are, well, you know…
#2 The Empire Strikes Back
Yep, you guessed it. The well-known “bad guys”. Nothing could embody the dark side quite like the Yankees. Nationally hated? Check. Tons of historical success? Check. Taking some of the most powerful players to their side? Check. The New York Vaders are just about as perfect a fit as a hot dog at a baseball game. You don’t even need to know baseball, or Star Wars for that reason, to put these two together. With 27 World Series victories though, maybe it really is good to be bad.
#1 Seattle Greedos
The color scheme, the general irrelevance, the one-time bad guy that everyone ends up loving as time passes, the Seattle Greedos more than deserve the top spot. At one time, the Mariners had arguably the best player at their respective position of all-time (Ken Griffey Jr., Alex Rodriguez, Randy Johnson, and Edgar Martinez), but couldn’t put together a World Series win. Greedo had his gun drawn on Han from the get go, and still got shot (even though Han shot first). Greedo’s few minutes of screen time just about amount to the 18-year postseason drought, yet no one could have a bad thing to say about them. 10/10 would buy Seattle Greedos jersey.
May the 4th be with you.